Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
