Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
pray to the hookup gods
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
