just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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