The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
