covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
