But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
