Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
