I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
