Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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