I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
