I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
