Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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