That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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