so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
