It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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