Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
