so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
