found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
