Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
