Rock
Scissors
Fuck
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
