omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
a search helicopter?!
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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