The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
