I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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