took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
