i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
