dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
