i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
