Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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