K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
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