We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
