I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
