Who did Billy Mays play for?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
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