Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
