So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
