I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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