i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
