So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
organizing the empties. That sober.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize
