Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
