I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
