he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
