Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
