girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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