if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
