My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
