1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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