Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
