saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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