I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
