ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
