i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
