No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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