I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
