I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
