apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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