Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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