Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
